The Bard Lives in Death City
by Rogue137
Summary: All the world's a stage, and the men and women merely players. Each chapter is inspired by a work of Shakespeare. So beware, Spartoi...both comedy and tragedy await you. Chapter 2: "If I be waspish, best beware my sting."
1. The Balcony Scene

The Balcony Scene

_Or..._

You can take the girl out of the Academy, but you can't take the Academy out of the girl!

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It was official: She worked too much.

Sighing, Maka gave her throbbing feet one last second off the ground before reluctantly heaving up off the curb to cross the deserted street. She looked both ways, but there was little point—it was past midnight on a Friday. Everyone was either asleep or in the middle of a binge.

A small part of her grumbled about how unfair it was that while everyone else she knew was with family or out of Death City on vacation or missions, she was stuck working minimum wage for three months. But only a small part. The rest of her considered this to be as yet another challenge and to not to be such a baby. She had no money to go out of town, and she had spent half her life away from both her parents during the summer. There wasn't much incentive to change that this summer.

As for missions, Shinigami-sama was all too happy to appease Maka's request for the summer off. Her work for him the last spring was significant to be sure. She made yet another Death Scythe, this time out of Rosaline, a bright young girl who took the form of a battle axe. The two of them were partners for three years collecting the 99 souls they needed. Maka hardly took a day off in all those years in high school and up through her first two years of Shibusen Tech in order to keep her goal of become the most successful, power meister there ever was.

It was the last witch she and Rosaline went up against that convinced Maka to take it easy. It took her nearly eight weeks to recover, something that surprised the twenty-two year old. The young woman realized, with help from the blunt advice of Dr. Stein and the gentle logic of Tsubaki, that she was wearing herself out.

"_These tests show that your body is breaking down at an alarming rate, Maka," the professor had told her dryly. He tapped the folder holding the results of her physical on his knee. "As someone whose job is to keep meisters like you in fighting condition, I would advise you to take a break from being a meister."_

"_That doesn't make any sense," she had protested. "I have been training constantly, I have faced two witches to make two Death Scythes! I am not—" She was cut off by the older man raising a stern hand. _

"_I am not suggesting you haven't worked hard enough," Stein said. "Maka, it is, in fact, the opposite. You are working too hard. Your body cannot handle the stress you are putting it through."_

"_Then I'll just train harder! I'll get stronger...you-you know I can, Professor!"_

"_I have no doubt about that." He smirked a little at her reckless determination. "But only if you take my professional recommendation that you let yourself relax for a few months. Trust me, it'll be good for you. Hey, it might even make you a better meister."_

"_How is lying around for a few months supposed to make me a better meister?" she had complained to Tsubaki later that day. Fuming, she kicked at a garbage can, her hands stuffed in her jacket. _

"_Rosaline is already going through Death Scythe training with Shinigami-sama, and Soul..." She trailed off. Tsubaki looked at her with interest, and for good reason. Maka hadn't brought up Soul in a while. "Well, neither of _them_ have needed a break."_

Soul would think that you working so hard was _really_ uncool, _a voice in her head muttered. _

"_Neither of them have needed to train as hard as you have. You deserve a little Maka-time!" the Death Scythe urged, taking Maka's hand and smiling warmly at her. "I don't even remember the last time I saw you with a book that wasn't assigned for class!"_

_Maka couldn't argue with that. She did sort of miss those small windows of time where she used to sit and read a good romance on the couch, Blaire purring on her lap, and Soul sprawled out beside her, watching a game on the television._

_Those days were long gone now, though. _

"_I'm at least going to get a job," she had told her friend. "I think I might go nuts without something to do for the whole summer."_

Not that it was easy to convince herself that "taking it easy" was harder to accomplish than she thought. She was so used to busting her ass for the Academy, she took so much pride in immersing herself in battle after battle for so long that it felt strange to suddenly stop. Getting a server position at Los Castelvines helped a bit when it came to taking up time in her day.

Most of her friends from school and around Death City left by the end of the school year, but some people she knew stayed behind. Blaire was still working at Chupa Cabra, but she still didn't see her much. Tsubaki stayed in town about a month in and helped Maka adjust to a life with a lower amount of adrenaline. She coaxed Maka to have girl's nights out with her every week. It took Maka back to her middle school days, before she kicked her ambition and work ethic at school into high gear. Before she realized just how much more she didn't know about herself and her abilities. Before she turned Soul into a Death Scythe.

Before her life became consumed with training, with feeding this need to become better, faster, stronger, smarter, braver...

Goodness, she should 'chop herself. She was beginning to think like Black Star. Ick.

In any case, Maka was finally beginning to get used to the idea of giving herself a break from being a part of the last line of defense from the imminent doom of the world, presented by witches, Kishin-ripe souls, and other nasty things that go bump in the night. She still had no idea how it was supposed to make her a better meister, though.

She walked down the moon-lit street, taking in the cool breeze, appreciating the muted sounds of this part of the city. She sent out her Soul Perception, making sure that her walk home wouldn't be ruined by some evil soul that wanted to jump her. Luckily the distance between herself and her apartment was clear of any such nuisances.

She looked up into the sky, and smiled to herself. It was nice to not have to worry about anything tonight except for getting a good night's sleep and a nice weekend. Blaire worked most weekends, so she would have the apartment to herself just to read, watch movies, and giving into those random urges to go through those techniques her professors were getting her to use to try to get her latent weapon blood to come under her control.

She ground her teeth for a moment at the thought. It was the one thing she couldn't get a handle of in all her years of training since the Academy found out she had inherited her mother's meister abilities _and _her father's weapon blood. It was aggravating to say the least. Maka refused to accept Stein's hypothesis that she would only ever recover that ability when unconscious.

Regardless, it was a beautiful night as Maka finally arrived at her apartment tired, sore, and ready for the weekend to start with a nice, long, and dreamless sleep.

When she reached the door to the complex, she stuck her hand into her pack, rummaging through it for her keys. She never carried a purse.

…

"C'mon..." Maka muttered, sticking her head closer to her bag, peering into it as she shoved the various items around. Her hands usually made contact with her keys at this point, but she hadn't even heard them jingle. Her stomach tightened in distress when the keys did not appear.

_Okay, stay calm. You probably left them on the kitchen counter after you came back from buying groceries today. Just call Blair to see if she could swing by to open the apartment, or the landlord..._she thought to herself, anxiety building after she dumped all of the contents of her bag onto the sidewalk. She was reaching into her jacket pocket when she remembered something.

Crap.

_Crap_.

Crap, crap, _crap_.

Her phone was with her keys.

Shifting from one foot to the other, she considered her options.

Not like she had many. She mentally kicked herself for foolishly leaving her phone and her keys inside her apartment, locked away for good. She didn't want to walk a mile down the road to find a phone and call the locksmith; she had already been on her feet for twelve hours straight. Working in a Mexican restaurant, though it paid her well and the management was nice, wiped her out to the point of collapse nearly every Friday this summer (luckily she only had to deal with this stupid double one day a week). Nor could she knock on her neighbor's door at one in the morning without intense embarrassment.

With growing discontent, she accepted that there were only two options at this point: Risk getting caught breaking into her own home and having to deal with the police; or waiting for the near non-existent possibility that her roommate, Blair, would show up before morning. Letting out a heavy sigh, she realized that there was no way she would stay outside all night.

She sized up her nemesis once more, her forth-story apartment. She could possibly scale the building by lifting herself up over balconies and windowsills. It's not like she hadn't the upper-body strength; all those hours in combat training made her arms quite capable of throwing a significant amount of weight around. Even though Soul Resonance made weapons nearly weightless to their meisters, the Academy taught its students to advance their athletic stamina and strengthen their bodies. Now that her training had increased to working with a variety of weapons, she had to deal with their varying souls and thus, their various weights. She was nowhere near, _say_, Black Star's massive (even—dare she think it?—godlike) power when it came to physical strength, but she certainly did some damage when at the gym.

And when you can outdo 80% of those muscle-heads at the bench press on any given weekday...well, it also gave her less feminine appeal then she already had, if that was even possible. Not like she cared, though. She got over that whole issue years ago, when she still had a smidgen of hope that a guy would look at her like _that._

Oh well.

That just left the question of whether or not Blair's window was unlocked. Usually, it was...the cat liked to perch on the windowsill and take a catnap in the sun when it wasn't too hot. But, then again, Maka usually had her keys and phone on her at all times. It would be just her luck today...

Maka narrowed her eyes and mapped out her plan of action. She was going to pull herself onto the balcony directly above her and make a zig-zag towards the second floor windowsill and then hoist up across to that third floor balcony. The far left of that balcony would put her in arm-reach of Blair's windowsill.

Let's just hope that no one spotted her and called the police.

"Ow!" She put her finger against her lips, glaring up at the ledge where a hidden nail stuck her skin when she had tried to lift herself up.

Now praying enthusiastically to whatever great and generous god that helped fools locked out of their apartments, Maka attempted to get another good grasp on the ledge, cautious of other hidden tetanus-threats. She swung herself back and thrust her weight upward, allowing the momentum to help her gain height. Her sneakers caught the wall and pushed once, allowing her leverage to swing one hand to grasp the top of the balcony. She scrambled over and went to perch precariously on the narrow bar. She slowly allowed herself to straighten, holding the wall for balance.

Now came the hard part; taking the second-story window to the third-story balcony.

Lucky for her, Sid had whipped her ass with dead-weight pull-ups, and she had her fair share of hanging by her fingertips on tall buildings. Especially in situations much more dire than just being locked out of her apartment.

She peeked into the window above her. She let out a sigh of relief to see that no one was present inside to witness her reckless breaking-and-entering. Maka reached out and grabbed the windowsill with both hands, tentatively letting her weight fall forward. With a small leap, she pulled herself up and swung her knee to land it on the ledge. Luckily the ledge was just wide enough for her to stand on, but it still barely allowed half of her foot. She hugged the brick wall as she straightened and slowly inched to the left to the next balcony, breathing evenly and keeping her core engaged to keep her balance.

With another calculated jump, she made it onto the other balcony with little incident, though she did try to avoid stepping on the tenant's sea-shells, which lined the balcony's railing decoratively. Rubbing her hands, which were a little raw already, Maka quietly walked to the other side of the balcony to look up to her apartment window.

_Okay, now to Blair's win—_

"Oh...crap." Her shoulders hunched in defeat. She miscalculated the distance between the third-floor and the forth due to the dark. She would have to make one hell of a jump to get there and not fall to her death.

Frustration built up inside of her. Cursing the gods for this unlucky night, she grabbed a conch shell in front of her and chucked it at Blair's window, her face screwed up in an angry snarl. It hit the window with a dull _thud _before falling to _its_ death on the sidewalk below. The window didn't break, seeing as it was reinforced. Shibusen required good security at its student's living quarters. _Her_ window was locked at all times, but Blair didn't care too much about safety.

There was a lawn chair out on the deck of the balcony. Maka resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to stay there til morning.

"Ugh!" she exclaimed. "This _is so not cool!_"

"The hell?" A voice called out from above her. "Holy shit..._Maka_? What are_ you_ doing down there?"

Maka's head whipped up to Blair's bedroom window, and her jaw went slack in surprise.

_What light from yonder window breaks?_

Peering out the window of her apartment and looking just a little less shocked than she was (he was obviously a little better at keeping his cool) was Soul Eater Evans, her former partner and weapon.

And he was shirtless. His lean body glinted in the moonlight. It was sinful how like a sculpture he looked, almost like he wanted to make the moon itself pale with envy.

_Dammit, don't think about that!_ Maka shoved that thought away viciously before the blush on her cheeks grew too noticeable in the moonlight.

Soul was looking down on her curiously, obviously waiting for an answer.

"_Soul?_ What are you doing up _there_?" Maka shot back.

"I just got into town this afternoon. Blair didn't tell you I was staying over?"

"No, she didn't. I've been working all day." _And I didn't have my phone on me...crap, she probably tried calling me to let me know. _

"Same old Maka," he chuckled, shaking his head and smirking. He stopped and leaned on crossed arms against the ledge. "So why are you down on that balcony and not in your own apartment?"

"I left my keys inside this morning," she muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. "I forgot to bring them to work with me."

"So...what? You tried breaking the window?"

"No!"

"Then what was that noise that woke me up?"

Maka grinned sheepishly, her bangs hiding her eyes.

"I was...kinda frustrated," she admitted. "I climbed up here to get into the apartment through Blair's room, but I didn't realize I couldn't reach the window from here. So I threw a seashell."

"Ah, well. That explains it."

"So..." Maka said slowly. "What brings you back to Death City?"

"Death called for a status report, and requested I do it in person," he told her. "Oh! So I heard that you made Rosaline into a Death Scythe! Congratulations."

"Yeah, thanks."

Awkward silence.

"You look like you're doing well," Soul offered tentatively.

"Yeah, well, I've taken this summer to relax a bit."

"You? Maka Albarn? Relax?" he cocked an eyebrow at the idea.

"Yeah, well...it's not like I had much say in it," she scowled slightly. "Shinigami-sama, Stein, and Tsubaki are convinced that I've been working too hard."

"Why would they think that?" Maka caught the sarcastic note in his tone and glared at him. "Glad to see they finally got through to you, though. The uptight, workaholic perfectionist _I _know would _never_ have locked herself out of her apartment."

"The lazy, too-cool jerk _I_ know wouldn't have crashed uninvited at a random friend's house."

"_Au contrare_, it is _very_ cool to show up uninvited to an_ old_ friend's place."

"By the way, _why_ are you sleeping in Blair's room?"

"Eh...hehehe," Soul smirked lecherously. "Why do _you_ think I'm sleeping in Blair's room?"

Maka's eyes narrowed.

"Whoa, hey...chill, I'm kidding! Maka..._Maka_. That's a big book. Oh c'mon, you can't Maka-Chop me from _all _the way over...OW! WHAT THE HELL? Dammit Maka, it's _not_ what it looks like!"

Soul peered over the windowsill, head throbbing and wary of any more paperback missiles.

"The new couch you have is too lumpy," he growled at her. "Blair said it was okay for me to stay in her room since she works nights."

Maka didn't say anything to that, she just crossed her arms in front of her and continued to glare at him.

"So are you going to let me help you up here, Romeo, or are you going to sleep in that lawn chair for the night?"

He stretched out both arms down to her, gesturing with his hands for Maka to grab on.

"Romeo?" she questioned.

"Yeah. It can't be Rapunzel cuz I don't have the hair for it," he told her.

"Juliet never pulled Romeo through her window," Maka pointed out.

"Ah well, there's a balcony involved, isn't there?"

She sighed and adjusted her pack, too tired to banter back at him. She lifted herself to stand on the rail of the balcony, one hand on the wall to balance. She grabbed Soul's left hand first, and then his right, nearly slipping off the rail as she did so. Soul's grip on her tightened, ensuring her stability until she could regain her footing.

"Careful," Soul muttered. "On the count of three, jump." Maka nodded. "Okay, one...two...three!"

Maka jumped, her feet scrabbling at the brick wall of the apartment building to give her leverage up to the window.

"Jeez, woman, you're a lot heavier than I remember!"

"Shut up, Soul! Just pull me up!"

With a strong tug, Soul lifted Maka up to the point where she could fit her torso through. With some awkward flailing and more help from Soul, Maka was back on her feet in Blair's room.

"Thanks," she said, straightening her shirt. Soul smiled and did something Maka didn't expect from her old partner. He pulled her into a tight hug. She felt herself blush in surprise as she was pressed into his bare chest, her hands squished in front of her. The blush went away when she noticed that a number of new scars littered his chest. Her brow furrowed for a moment in concern. _What has he been getting himself into—?_

"Soul, w-what—eep!" She cut off when she felt him kiss the top of her head.

"Missed you, tiny-tits!" Soul exclaimed.

"HEY! MAKA-CHOP!"

"ACK!" And down he went. "Man, if there's one thing I still don't get," he muttered as he stumbled back on his feet, "is _where _the _hell_ you pull those books from. You really haven't changed a bit, have you?"

"Same to you...jerk."

"Bookworm."

"Sharkie."

"Why are you _still_ in pigtails?"

Maka smiled in spite of herself.

"Good to have you back, Soul."

"Good to be back," he agreed, giving her a high five.

Maka started heading out into the living room, Soul following.

"So how long are you planning on staying?" Maka asked, throwing her bag on the kitchen counter.

"Dunno," he said, shrugging before he leaned against the kitchen table, arms crossed in front of him. Maka went to the fridge and took out a jug of orange juice, pouring it into a cup. "I haven't been assigned to any more missions yet, but Death will probably hand me something to do when I report to him tomorrow."

"Mmm." She took a drink, and studied him for a second. "So...are you just going to crash here til then?"

"As long as you need me."

Maka choked on her drink for a second.

"To let you in the apartment, that is," he added with a grin. Maka turned to put the jug into the fridge, desperate to hide the blush that came back to her face.

"Har, har," she said. "This is a one-time deal. I'm going to hide a spare key outside tomorrow so this doesn't happen again." She yawned, running her hand through her hair, letting down her pigtails. "But now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to sleep."

Soul gave her a crooked grin.

"Have anything planned for tomorrow?"

"No, why?"

"I'll be leaving early in the morning to meet with Lord Death, but I know I'll be free by noon. Meet me at the cathedral at one and we can go have lunch or something. I need to catch you up on all the cool adventures I've been on without you. I'm sure you're _dying_ to hear all of those crazy awesome stories."

"Ugh, as if!" Maka scoffed. She had plenty of her own insane war stories to share. Soul wasn't the only one making history as a Shibusen student.

"Alright," he conceded casually. "The one with the best story gets to buy lunch."

"You're _so_ on, Evans," Maka challenged with a grin.

"I'm looking forward to it," Soul replied, pushing off of the table. "And so...Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow—" he said, dramatically laying a hand on his forehead.

"Oh, shut up," Maka snapped, though halfheartedly. It _was _good to have him back. "I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow."

Soul winked at her and started to head back into Blair's room.

"Oh, and Soul?"

"Yeah?"

"Unless you want a hundred-pound slut on your chest in the morning, I suggest you lock the door."

"So does this make Blair Tybalt?"

"Good _night_, Soul."

"Good _night_, Maka."

Maka went into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. A small smile crossed her lips as a familiar, but forgotten warmth began to spread through her limbs. Relaxation...it had been so foreign to her for so long. Was it Soul that finally brought it back, or just the memories of a friendship long since past?

_Romeo and Juliet, _Maka mused as she got out of her work clothes and into pajamas. _What a strange comparison. _

And yet...

_Sleep dwell within thine eyes, peace in thy breast! _Maka ended the scene in her head as she lay herself down._ Were I sleep and peace, so sweet to rest..._

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**Author's Note:**

Now I want to make a balcony-scene sketch of Romeo!Maka and Juliet!Soul. Oh the laffs. They come to me.

So..You like? Both are a little OOC, but I wanted a little fluff.

I could just leave this as a one-shot, or~!

Commit to a Shakespeare-themed _Soul Eater _arc! SQUEE!

Well, c'mon, who DOESN'T want to see a _Soul Eater/Midsummer Night's Dream_ crossover? (Possible future chapter maybe?...hinthintwinkwink) Oh, the ideas are delicious...

Okay. Calm.

Just let me know, mkay? The future chapters won't be as overtly expressed as in this chapter. I have to prioritize between this and my 20-page undergraduate thesis paper. _This_ won out so far. XD

By the way, this was inspired by a real-life experience. Last week.

Yeah, luckily I just had to tear through and unlatch the screen, lift myself up and through the window over my kitchen sink on the first floor, and climb over dirty dishes. This window, by the way, was about as high up as my chin. I felt like a ninja.

P.S. - Los Castelvines (the restaurant Maka works at) comes from _Los Castelvines y Los Monteses_, a play by Lope de Vega from the Spanish Golden Age of theatre. It was written almost exactly the same time as Romeo and Juliet, oddly enough, and while the plot is nearly the same, it has a happy ending! Just think of it as a better (Spanish) version of Romeo and Juliet. I believe the full text is online somewhere.


	2. Double Date

Double Date

_Or..._

If I be waspish, best beware my sting

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"I'LL KILL HIM, DAMMIT!" Maka roared, slamming her fist into a wall. Her eyes glinted with bloodlust, and anyone who didn't know her would have fainted at the sight of the woman.

"Uh, Maka...I think you're overreacting a bit," Liz deadpanned, staring wearily at her friend who continued to assault the brick wall. "It's not like we couldn't handle it ourselves. Besides, we should have known that he'd be distracted. We were told the evil soul was at a goddamn _strip_ club."

"AHAHA," Patty squealed. "Yeah, he was all, like, _my sweet angel and I shall kill the demon, oh look _BOOBIES!" She cackled some more as Maka—still fuming—continued walking down the sidewalk.

"I am _not_ overreacting!" Maka snapped. "I could have been killed because of what that idiot did! UGH, he is _so_ lucky Kid took him back to his place, or else at this moment—HE'D BE _DEAD_! That whoring, stupid, low-life _bastard_!" She aimed a hard kick at a broken beer bottle on the ground. It shattered against the wall. "How in _hell_ did Lord Death convince me to partner with him?"

"_How the hell do you think I'm supposed to deal with Spirit as a partner?" Maka exclaimed. "You know how I feel about him! For one thing, our soul wavelengths don't match up at all and—"_

"_Maka, that is exactly why I am partnering you with your father," Shinigami-sama said. "In order to be a great meister, you will have to adapt to situations where the only weapon you can wield is one that may not be the most compatible to you. Your father is a very experienced Deathscythe, and I think it this mission would be a good challenge for you." _

Oh, it was certainly a challenge to Maka. First she had to accept just being in the same room with him. It took almost an hour for her to adjust to her father's wavelength enough for her to simply pick him up in scythe form. Then she had to deal with his extreme affection and had to restrain herself from 'chopping him every five seconds. But when she and Kid arrived at the club, everything went downhill real fast.

"I think you just need to sleep this one off," Liz suggested. "I'm sure you'll feel a lot less..._violent_ in the morning. Trust me."

"Yeah, Maka!" Patty agreed. "We're going to be laughing about this whole incident in no time!"

"I doubt it," Maka said darkly. "If I never see that piece of shit again, it would be too soon."

Liz and Patty looked at each other in exasperation, but shrugged it off. It was pretty much useless to try to convince Maka to think positive when it came to her father.

Maka wanted to drink away yesterday's events, so she recruited Tsubaki to go to Lock Ness, Chupa Cabra's main competitor, the next night. She knew her father was going to be at _there_ and Death knew she didn't want to see that face any time soon, except to bash it in. The two of them got ready at Tsubaki's apartment.

"So where has Black*Star been lately?" Maka asked as she helped Tsubaki braid her hair. She loved handling her friend's long, soft tresses. It was one of the few things that made the blonde feel girly. "I was surprised not to see him in class." Meister U opened for the semester just a few weeks earlier, and although Black*Star attended the previous year, Maka had yet to see the blue-haired monkey.

"I'm not sure," Tsubaki admitted. "He sent me an email last week telling me he was in Asia, and that he'd be back in Death City soon, but I haven't heard anything since."

"Is he on a mission?"

"I think so," Tsubaki said. "He told me before he left in the summer that he was going on a few missions."

"Didn't he give you any details as to where he was going to be?" Maka asked, tying a ribbon at the end of Tsubaki's braid.

"I'm guessing it was sensitive information, you know how Shinigami-sama is sometimes."

"Yeah, but Black*Star has never been one to keep his mouth shut," Maka deadpanned. Tsubaki giggled.

"He's matured a little bit in the past few years, Maka."

"If you say so."

The girls finally finished their prepping as it got closer to eleven. They took a taxi to the bar, chatting about their respective classes and missions. Maka tried to keep off the topic of her last mission. She was sure that after a few drinks the whole town would hear of her lecherous father's idiocy the other night anyway.

As they entered the bar, the two young women were met with the usual bar-smell of cigarette smoke and spilled alcohol. They weaved their way through the numerous bodies to the bar. Once there, they ordered their drinks; a tequila sunrise for Tsubaki and a Johnnie Walker for Maka, straight up. She wasn't messing around tonight.

Maka was probably halfway through her second whiskey when she heard a voice she could pick out of a crowd, anywhere, anytime.

"DUH! THE GREAT _BLACK*STAR_ NEVER LOSES A FIGHT! I COULD FIGHT A THOUSAND FARC SOLDIERS WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT!"

Of course, that was because Black*Star could be heard halfway around the world if he felt like it.

"Hey Tsubaki, I think Black*Star is—"

She looked over towards the booming voice and saw, leaning on a pool cue on the other side of the bar, the squat assassin talking animatedly (was there any other way the man talked?) to two curvacious young women. One had ginger hair and was hanging on the meister's arm. The other was platinum blonde and had her hand on the thigh of one Soul Eater Evans, who was sitting on a stool against the wall. Both women were _very_ well-endowed, and from the looks the two men were giving the giggling girls, they were flaunting that reality to the fullest.

"—here," Maka finished darkly.

"Where?" Tsubaki didn't notice the growing fury in her friend's face as she looked towards the sound of her old meister's voice. When she finally caught sight of him and Soul, her previously eager smile faded. She ducked her head down when Black*Star suddenly made eye-contact with her.

"TSUBAKI! HEY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE OUT TONIGHT!"

Black*Star waved the two of them over, obviously not seeing the death glare Maka was giving him. Tsubaki slowly got up from the bar and headed over to the four in the far corner. Maka reluctantly followed. Part of her wished she had brought an encyclopedia. Someone was getting Maka-Chopped tonight, and two more victims had been added to the list.

"Ladies, this is my old partner from Shibusen, Tsubaki," Black*Star introduced. "She's a Deathscythe now, thanks to me!"

"You turned her into a Deathscythe? Oh, wow Black*Star, you really _are_ amazing!" the red-head gushed. Maka wanted to gag.

"And that's Maka. She was Soul's meister."

Maka finally made eye-contact with the weapon in question. She looked pointedly at the hand on his thigh and back up to him. Soul returned her disgusted gaze with a slightly bemused one, like he didn't understand why she was so angry. That only amped up her wrath.

"Yeah, Soul and I go way back," Maka said with barely concealed contempt. She kept her eyes on Soul the whole time. "I hope you don't mind lumpy couches, though," she directed her words at the woman at Soul's side. "Soul complained at first, but he eventually got used to it. I'm sure he'll make _you_ comfortable."

The busty blonde looked confused. Soul's mouth dropped open slightly in shock at her words. Her eyes glittered with malice as she turned her gaze back to him.

"But try to keep it down, Soul. I have class in the morning."

He was losing his cool by her words, much to Maka's satisfaction.

"You are couch-surfing at your ex-girlfriend's place?" the woman questioned, removing her hand from Soul's leg.

"Wha—no! What I mean is...I'm staying for...she's not my ex!" Soul stammered out.

"Nice to meet you, but Tsubaki and I need to be going. Have fun tonight, Black*Star. Soul." Maka gave her former weapon one last hard glance before she grabbed Tsubaki's wrist and dragged her away.

It was rude and out of line for her to do and say, but the two whiskeys she had made her bold, and she didn't care that she embarrassed Soul. He deserved it.

"That's it. All men are slobbering pigs. I never want _anything_ to do with them _ever again_!" Maka snapped.

"Wha—Maka?" Tsubaki looked over her shoulder at the boys.

"We're leaving, Tsubaki. I'm not going to stay there and watch those idiots moon over some bimbos."

"I'm sure that's not what they're doing," Tsubaki said timidly.

"Oh, that is _exactly _what they are doing, believe me," Maka replied. "I've lived with _that _behavior for most of my life."

Maka continued down the street, Tsubaki following. She headed to a park close-by. The moon hung low in the sky, making long shadows of trees. Half of the streetlights were broken, so light was dim. Neither the meister nor the Deathscythe felt frightened though; they were more than capable of defending themselves from any sort of evil that lurked at night. Maka sat down on a bench. Tsubaki hovered for a second beside the bench, seeming to evaluate her friend's mood before sitting down beside her.

"I don't know why you even try, Tsubaki," Maka muttered. "All he does is ignore you and hurt you."

"It's my fault, Maka," Tsubaki told her. "It's not like he even knows I'm interested in him."

"_Bullshit!_" she barked. The taller woman cringed, and Maka took a breath, her hand brushing stray hairs from her face. "I'm sorry, Tsubaki. It's just...you deserve so much better than Black*Star. He's always been such an arrogant jerk, and he is never around when you need him."

"He's not always like that, Maka."

"I know, you've told me ever since we first started Shibusen. That doesn't change the fact that you could do better."

"I-I don't know," Tsubaki stammered, rubbing her arm in discomfort. "I never imagined being with anyone else..."

"You haven't tried, for one," Maka noted.

"Maybe," she acknowledged, but Maka could tell she wasn't convinced. "In any case, I have to say I was surprised to see Soul with Black*Star. I know Black*Star likes that kind of attention sometimes, but I had assumed—"

"I'm not surprised one bit."

"Oh?"

"You remember when we were in Shibusen, Tsubaki. You remember all those girls who fell all over themselves to get at him." She shoved away the cold touch of jealousy.

"Yeah."

" And of course you remember my first—and last—date with Soul?"

"Oh..."

_It was the summer of Maka's sixteenth year. She and Soul had just finished a long mission against a coven of witches. It was also the third year of Soul's Deathscythe training, which meant he was only a a few months away of his selection exam, where Deathscythes around the world would convene in Death City to choose novices to continue their training elsewhere in vital locations. _

_Maka had already decided that she wanted to stay in Death City for numerous reasons, including Meister Tech's location. Her mother attended the university and it was of little contention that Maka was going to do the same. _

_The years with Soul had made her Resonance with him stronger, but it also created certain tensions as the two Shibusen students grew older. Maka was not good with expressing her affection towards Soul outright. Her girl friends caught on long before she did that she held more-than-friends feelings when it came to a certain white-haired weapon. It didn't take long for teenage hormones to kick in high gear and push Maka Albarn to the point where she felt like she was going to burst if she couldn't tell Soul how she felt about him._

_It took months of counseling with Liz, Patty, Tsubaki, Kim, and all the other girls for her to finally gather the courage to ask Soul out. _

_To her utter surprise, he said yes. _

"_I was wondering when you were going to admit you had the hots for me," he had drawled coolly, smirking. _

"_MAKA-CHOP!" _

"_OW! Ugh...I guess this answers the question as to whether or not you'll be less violent towards me now."_

"_Mmhmm." _

"_Figures."_

_The set date was a Friday evening. They were going to go to a dinner and a movie, something they had done before as friends, but this was going to be different. Soul was going to pay for her, for one thing. _

_Liz nearly had a conniption fit when she found out Maka was going to allow her to help her get ready for her date with Soul (she only agreed because Liz had been dying to fulfill some sort of makeover fantasy for the longest time). It took a good four hours for Maka's "transformation", as Liz called it, to be complete. _

_Finally Maka escaped the clutches (as good-willed as they were) of her friend in time to meet Soul outside her apartment. _

_She never could remember what color her dress was, or what kind of cologne she smelled on him when he kissed her cheek in greeting, but she remembered how her heart raced at the sight of his crooked grin. _

_The dinner and movie went on uneventfully. In fact, it hardly seemed like a date save for the photo booth pictures she forced Soul into. They got a copy of the silly photos for each of them. They were a memoir to their first date, Maka had told him shyly. He just smiled at her and put the strip into his wallet. _

_That, and her nerves. She had to keep telling herself that this was Soul, her best friend and partner—she didn't have to be nervous around him. _

_It was the walk home that changed everything. _

_He had given her his jacket as they strolled down the street. They were talking about an actor in the movie they had seen (it was an action film, she couldn't remember the title) when Soul's phone rang. It was in the pocket of his jacket, so Maka took it out. The caller ID was of a familiar face, one of a girl Maka knew from school. The content smile on her face dropped off as she remembered where she had seen the girl before. Her name was Grace, and she had gone out with Soul a few times about a month ago. _

_Soul picked up the phone from her hand and answered it._

"_Hello? Oh, hi Grace, what's up?"_

_Maka studied Soul's calm expression, completely oblivious to her own inner turmoil. _

_Soul Evans never broke hearts on purpose. He knew exactly how to let a girl go with just the right words. Maka could hardly start to count the number of girls he had dated and left in the time she knew him. How could she be so stupid? _

"_I'm a little busy tonight, but I'll talk to you tomorrow, 'kay? Awesome. Have a good night, Grace."_

_She realized then that he didn't feel the same about her as she did about him. She was just another pity date, like all the other girls who fell for the self-titled cool guy. _

_Once Maka refused a second date with Soul, they didn't talk much during the rest of the summer. Soul left for Africa soon after that, having been chosen to continue his training there after he passed the selection exam. Maka eventually got over her teenage angst with him, and they were able to regain their friendship in time. But she always felt a twinge of sadness and longing when she would see him during missions or when he visited Death City on occasion. _

"So, in so many words, Tsubaki, I am not surprised that Soul is at a bar with Black*Star," Maka sneered. "They liked getting their _egos_ stroked."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So we heard you and Black*Star were trying to get some action last night."

Liz and Patty Thompson had Soul Evans cornered in the parking garage outside of the mall. He was about to leave when the two girls came up and stood in front of his bike, preventing from leaving without running them over.

"What's it to you?" Soul asked, keeping a straight face. If he learned anything about the Thompson sisters, it was that they exploited any weakness shown when they interrogated their victims. He used the word "victim" because he knew Liz and Patty long enough to tell that they were in ass-kicking mode. Now, why they would take offense to him and his friend—two eligible bachelors—flirting at bars was beyond him.

Liz and Soul kept a staring contest going for another few moments before Soul broke it, sighing theatrically.

"Okay, Liz, I'm not going to play this game. What's wrong?"

Patty giggled.

"For a cool guy, you really _are_ stupid when it comes to women," she drawled, draping an arm around his shoulder casually. Soul stiffened. The way Patty was acting...something was _definitely _up.

"Get to the point."

"The point is, _Evans_," Liz started, getting into Soul's face. "You chose the _wrong day_ to cross Maka Albarn. Were you even _aware_ of the mission we went on with her two nights ago?"

"The one she partnered with Spirit on? Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Let's just say...things came to a head," Liz said.

"_His_ head," Patty giggled.

"And not the one on his shoulders."

Soul raised a brow at their choice of words, but understood what they were getting at.

"So he got distracted during a mission. Again, I ask, what does this have to do with me and Black*Star?"

"Jeez, Soul, do I have to connect the dots for you?" Liz exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "Maka was already fuming over her whoring father, so to see two guys she holds the slightest bit of respect for doing basically the same thing hurt her more than you can imagine!" Soul scowled, but this time his annoyance wasn't completely directed towards Liz and Patty. This time it was at Maka for being so ridiculously sensitive, and at himself for being so ridiculously insensitive.

"We've been trying to deal with a depressed Tsubaki and a rampaging Maka for the past twenty-four hours," Liz told him. "And it's going nowhere fast. Tsubaki will likely be fine, but Maka...well, nothing seems to calm her down."

"Except maybe the prospect of 'chopping the three of you from here to the South Pole," Patty admitted.

"Exactly! Now she's on the man-hating trail to destroy any bit of romantic happiness Tsubaki can ever dream of having with Black*Star, let alone any bit she can have for herself! You need to stop her, Soul!"

"Why do _I _need to stop her?"

"Because it's your fault she's like this. _You_ pushed her over the edge."

"Why can't you find a guy Maka doesn't hate right now to convince her that she's overreacting?" Soul asked, feeling exasperated. "What about Kidd? He hasn't done anything to upset her recently, has he?"

"Kidd is a death god. He doesn't count."

"Guys," he said evenly, raising his hands to stop the two from going any further. "I know you're concerned about Maka, but obviously it seems like she just needs some time to cool off."

"That's the thing, Soul. This little incident is part of a bigger problem. You haven't been around, so maybe you don't realize it. Maka will do everything in her power to keep Tsubaki from dating Black*Star unless he convinces her that he is worthy of her," Patty explained. "That's why we've concocted a plan."

"A plan?"

"Yep," Liz said. The two girls flanked the red-eyed man, an arm on each shoulder.

Soul looked at the two uneasily.

"You're taking Maka on a double-date with Black*Star and Tsubaki!" they chorused.

"...What are you smoking?"

Liz punched him in the arm.

"This is the only way you can help heal some old wounds, stupid!" she told him.

"Do you remember the last time I dated Maka?" Soul asked, crossing his arms. He hated to bring it up, but this was his last chance to convince the Thompson girls to leave him out of this. "We didn't talk for months. Like hell I'm going to do that again."

The sisters looked at each other, then at him.

_Ugh, why are they grinning at me like that again?_

"Well, Patty, I guess he leaves us no choice."

"I guess so, Liz. It's a shame, really."

"What are you two creepers talking about?"

Liz nodded at Patty. Patty reached into her pocket. At first Soul was going to bolt, thinking she was pulling a knife and going to threaten to cut up his face. But he stopped when he recognized what was in her hand.

"Hey, that's my _wallet._ Give it _back!_" Soul snapped, stepping towards Patty. Patty danced out of the way, dangling the wallet in front of her with both hands and opening it.

"Oooh, what is this?" she sang out, peering at the contents. "Liz, come take a look!" She tossed it to her sister. Soul tried to grab it in mid-air, but Liz got to it first.

"Ah-ah, too slow," Liz cackled. She opened the wallet and pulled out a long strip of paper. "So, Soul...how do you think Maka would feel if we were to give your wallet to her...with _this_ in it?"

_So not cool..._

It was the Polaroid strip from the photo booth all those years ago, taken on the happiest day of his young life. It was worn and faded from his constant folding and unfolding it, but the two happy faces were as clear as crystal to him. Those pictures would stay in his memory until the day he died. Soul knew this because he made sure he could remember it, in all those battles he went through without her by his side. He wanted to make sure that the last face he would see was hers. So the Deathscythe kept that strip of paper on him at all times, just in case.

And now Liz Thompson had it for blackmail.

_Damn._

Soul's hands tightened into fists. He wasn't about to duel the two of them, that would be a futile use of strength. But he couldn't have them show Maka what he kept in his wallet for five years, she couldn't know. At least, not yet.

"So what are Black*Star and I supposed to do on this date?" Soul growled at Liz. "Just convince Maka that we aren't complete douche-bags?"

"Pretty much."

"We have faith in you, if you don't act like a jerk!" Soul ignored that jibe from Patty.

"Okay, fine. I'll do it. I don't suppose I can have my wallet back?" he asked shortly. Liz smiled at him condescendingly.

"I think we'll keep it for now...as _incentive_, let's say," Liz mused, tapping the wallet on her chin.

"Oh, come on, is that really necessary?"

"You can have it back if you succeed in getting Maka to not freak out when Black*Star is within ten feet of Tsubaki."

"By the way, how did you convince Black*Star to do this?"

Patty gave Soul a sickeningly sweet grin that made him blanch.

"Never mind, I don't want to know," Soul said hurriedly.

"It's settled then!" Liz clapped her hands together. "Operation Taming of the Shrew is underway!"

"Great," Soul muttered. "Though don't I need my wallet to pay for this date?" Liz just reached into the wallet and pulled out his ID and his MeisterCard (A/N: And...Soul Eater puns...ftw XD). She tossed the wallet to her sister and handed him the two cards.

"There, now you don't need to carry your wallet," she told him brightly.

"Thanks," he replied, the word dripping with sarcasm.

"We'll call you later tonight with the details," Liz said, standing out of the way of his bike as it roared to life.

"Can't wait," he muttered, kicking off and driving away, eager to leave the two crazy sisters far behind him.

As the city passed by him in a blur, he let himself fall into reflection about the whole situation.

_I knew Maka had some sort of complex when it came to men because of her parent's relationship, but now she's just projecting all of this built-up hate on Tsubaki. She just doesn't want her friend to become like her mom. Jeez, now that I think about it, Maka is probably afraid of being like her mom, too...I guess it makes sense, in a twisted sort of way. She not only wants to be better than her mom as a meister, but she wants to be better at her love life, too._

Soul sighed. He never wanted to hurt Maka, and he _really _didn't want to do anything to hurt their relationship, especially after his only date with her ended so horribly. He never did get the chance to ask Maka why she rejected him when he asked her on a second date, but he always had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with that one stupid phone-call he took that night. He didn't even remember the name of the girl who called him.

Or, at least he desperately hoped it was that phone-call and not that she just didn't want to go out with him.

"Why does she have to be so infuriatingly complicated?" he murmured to himself.

That night he received an email from Liz detailing the plan for the following day. He had to say, he was impressed at the subtle genius of the woman. When she wanted something, she made sure it happened. Like a goddamn puppeteer.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Can't you scoot over? You're taking up the whole couch."

"Well it is my _bed_," Soul said. Maka gave him her pre-MakaChop glare. He sighed heavily before slowly getting up from his starfish position on the couch and leaving her a good amount of space. "Happy?"

Maka grunted in a noncommittal sort of way.

"When is Tsubaki supposed to pick you up?" Soul asked, making sure his tone was casual.

"Any minute," Maka said shortly. A thick silence permeated the air. Soul hated it, but he tried to act like he didn't notice. He tried to make sure he looked presentable; a navy blue shirt and black jeans. He was supposed to leave for the restaurant before Maka, but he wanted to see if he could at least get to her before having to do the whole song and dance he was blackmailed into.

"Something bothering you, Maka?" he asked evenly, leaning his head towards her. She simply continued to glare daggers at the television screen, which was turned onto the Food Network.

"What makes you think that?" she replied in monotone, not looking at him.

"I didn't know you hated cupcakes so much."

The blonde's eyes narrowed, but she still didn't make eye contact with him.

"It's unhealthy to act this way, you know," Soul said. "I'm not the bad guy here, and honestly I feel kinda insulted that you're comparing Black*Star and I to your dad." He saw Maka's hands tighten into fists, but she still said nothing. That bothered him more than her rage.

_Well...this is going nowhere fast,_ he thought to himself. He stood up and picked up his jacket that was laying on the back of the couch, slinging it over his shoulder.

"I'll see you at the restaurant," he said, looking down at Maka. She just made another one of those noncommittal sounds. Soul pursed his lips in a grimace. Liz had told him to try to show Maka affection in little ways the whole night, saying it would 'melt the cold woman's heart'...

A little too uncool for his taste, but it was worth a try.

He hesitated for a moment before reaching down and gently stroked the top of her head in—what he _hoped_ was—a reassuring type of way.

"You'll have a good time tonight," he murmured. "I promise."

And with that he walked out of the apartment, not looking back to see if she reacted at all.

Once Soul arrived at the restaurant in question, he looked around for Black*Star. He was surprised to see that the assassin had arrived before he did, and actually looked respectable (what the hell did Liz and Patty _do_ to him?) in a white button-up and dark jeans.

"Did the girls give you the run-down?" Soul asked his friend wearily. Black*Star rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. I don't know why they were so insistent in going through all of this, though," he huffed, crossing his arms. "Well, I guess it's all the same. You're lucky that Liz and Patty were smart enough to call upon the great Black*Star to help in these affairs of the heart! You could have just asked me for advice in the first place, you know! Your god is willing to give assistance!"

"Uh, Black*Star, the whole point of this is for _you_ and _Tsubaki _to—"

"There you are!" a voice called out from inside the restaurant. Liz was waving the two of them over. "Okay, we have just a few minutes before Tsubaki and Maka arrive. Patty and I will be watching from behind the divider on the other side of the salad bar, so don't get any ideas of blowing this whole thing off."

"Why would we do that?" Soul gave her a toothy grin.

"Don't be an ass. Just stick to the plan and the night should go on swimmingly! Now get up to the front to meet the girls. You know the drill. Remember your lines, keep them happy, and for _godssake, _Black*Star, don't make this all about you—for _once _in your _life._"

The two shuffled reluctantly to their places in the front of the restaurant. Patty chose the location of this whole charade, and Soul was surprised at how nice it was. Liz told him that they were supposed to make this all about the girls. He had to admit that he knew next to nothing about what any woman wanted—let alone these two particular females—and secretly thanked Liz for guiding him and Black*Star.

If this endeavor saved and repaired whatever damage the other night caused, all the better.

"Hey Maka, Tsubaki," Soul greeted them as they walked in.

"Hey guys," Tsubaki replied, giving the two a slight smile. Maka still had the same dark look on her as she had when Soul left an hour earlier.

"Where's Kidd and Liz and Patty? It's already eight," Maka asked, looking around. "And wasn't Ox, Kilik, and Kim supposed to meet us, too?"

"They bailed, it's just us tonight!" Black*Star exclaimed, gesturing grandly. Maka stared at the blue-haired man in shock for a moment.

"You've got to be kidding."

"Don't stress about it, Maka," Soul told her, raising a brow at her. "We're already here and we have a reservation."

"For some reason I've lost my appetite."

"C'mon, Maka, you can just watch your god eat!" Black*Star interjected with enthusiasm.

"There _was_ a reservation made," Tsubaki said uncertainly when Maka turned to her in exasperation. Maka threw her hands in the air.

"Ugh, fine. Let's go."

The four followed the hostess to a fairly secluded table on the far left side of the restaurant, against the salad bar. Soul made eye-contact with Black*Star as they got to their table. He gave his friend a signaling nod. Both girls looked on in confusion for a moment as the young men pulled out their chairs for them.

"T-thank you, Black*Star," Tsubaki murmured, being the first to sit. Black*Star just smiled and helped push the chair in before taking his own seat across from her.

Soul waited with one hand on Maka's chair, the one beside Tsubaki, keeping his expression casual as he awaited Maka's reaction. Maka stared at him with what seemed like suspicion. Part of him was panicking as he waited for her to see through the set-up and insist on going back to her apartment.

But she simply accepted the gesture and sat in it, looking at Soul in a familiar sort of way. A Stein sort of way. Like she wanted to dissect him.

"Hello! My name is Amy, I'll be your server tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

"I'll have your house red," Maka said, her eyes still on Soul.

"Just a Coke for me," Soul said.

"An iced tea," Tsubaki ordered.

"I'll get an iced tea as well!"

"Alright, I'll get that out to you," Amy said brightly, jotting down their orders before whisking off to the back of the restaurant.

"Why did everyone bail on us again?" Maka asked Soul, eyes narrowed.

"Kidd called and refused to come because he wouldn't be able to get here by eight," he lied, giving himself a mental pat on the back for his cool, even tone. "Said something about Patty's stuffed animals then hung up."

"What about Ox and them?" Tsubaki questioned.

"Apparently Liz _forgot_ to invite them," Black*Star told her. "Kim and Liz got into some sort of argument the other day and they refuse to be in the same room as each other."

"But Liz isn't here, why don't we call Kim and invite them here?"

"Why not just keep it to the four of us?" Soul said, starting to get annoyed with Maka's attitude.

"Yes! All we need for a great night is a great guy like me!" Black*Star said. Maka scowled.

"So, Maka, how are classes going?" Soul asked, making an attempt to be cordial.

"Fine."

Soul frowned at her immediate shut-down of his question.

"Tsubaki, you look great tonight! Just about as great as me!" Black*Star exclaimed. Soul nearly groaned at the forced nature of the compliment, but Tsubaki giggled at it.

"Thank you, Black*Star."

"What have you been up to while I've been gone? I hope you didn't miss me too much," he grinned at his former weapon coyly. Tsubaki's cheeks flushed a little.

"I-I've been going through some more Deathscythe training. Kidd and I went on a mission about two months ago."

"Of course! The best Deathscythe made by the man who will beat god _has_ to be working with only the gods themselves! I'm proud of you, Tsubaki!"

"T-thanks."

"How about you, Maka? Are there any other weapons you've chose to work with?" Soul urged his friend to open up.

"No."

"What, too busy studying?" he asked, his frown growing deeper.

"Something like that," she replied. "At least I'm more productive than a certain _Deathscythe_."

"Shinigami-sama hasn't assigned me any missions," Soul explained, not liking the accusation in her voice.

"Doesn't mean you are free to lay around and rust."

"You sound like my mother."

"Do not! _Your_ mother didn't even want you to be a weapon at first, anyway."

"Hey, there's no need to bring my mother into this," Soul said, covering up the fact that the jibe hurt him, just a little.

"You're the one who brought her up."

"C'mon, Maka, we're in a restaurant. Canyou at least be civil?" he snapped back at her.

"It's going to take a lot more than a shark-toothed albino to make me a civilian."

"Fighting is doing you no good, soldier," Soul responded wryly. "Lay your weapons down, will you?"

"The pen is mightier than the sword," Maka snarled, reaching into her purse for her book.

"Want to test that theory?" Soul drawled, letting his hand turn into the end of his scythe, pointing it menacingly at Maka. He wasn't planning on actually hurting her, but he was getting _really_ ticked off.

Unfortunately, even after years of experience, he _still_ wasn't fast enough to dodge the hardcover she chucked at him.

"DAMMIT! I swear to _Death_, Maka..." he raised the book to throw it back at her, but hesitated and then tossed it on the ground in disgust instead. "Ugh! I'm trying to be the gentleman, here!"

"If you strike me, you are no gentleman," she sneered.

"I'm not going to hit you, Maka," he grumbled, leaning back in his chair. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wincing when he felt the place where the hardcover connected with his skull. _Damn violent woman._

He hated how Maka was so good at making him lose his cool.

"Tsubaki, will you come with me to the bathroom? I'm feeling nauseous," Maka snapped, pushing away from the table and stomping off towards the restrooms.

"I'm sorry Soul. I'll try to calm her down," Tsubaki said sympathetically as she got up to follow the raging blonde.

Soul looked after the meister's retreating back with aggravation.

"Yeah, she's still pissed," he muttered, turning to his fellow Deathscythes, who had poked their heads out from around the corner when Maka and Tsubaki were out of sight.

"Sweet love, renew thy force!"

"Liz...Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you."

"Don't give up now, Soul," Liz urged. "Even Black*Star is able to do this, and he's...Black*Star."

"Indeed I am! Your wise, benevolent god thinks this is a piece of cake!" said meister crowed, leaning his chair back on two legs. Soul suppressed the instinct to kick him off-balance.

"What am I supposed to do? She won't _look_ at me, let alone _listen_ to what I have to say."

"At least you're distracting her from interfering with Black*Star and Tsubaki's chance for love."

"That's right...wait, what?" Black*Star's chair fell back on all fours as he leaned forward, looking confused. Liz and Patty looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

"Never mind, Black*Star," Patty sighed. "Just keep being nice to Tsubaki, that's all you have to do tonight."

The blue-haired man just shrugged and leaned his chair back again.

"As for you, Soul," Liz said. "Try to keep from provoking Maka to attack. I know it's hard for you, but make an effort, will you?"

"Psh. Yeah, Soul. You were kind of an arrogant jerk to M—AHH!" Black*Star toppled backwards, flailing when Soul smoothly swiped the legs of his chair out from under him.

"_Behave_, you two. The girls are coming back."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"I hate him."

"Don't you think that's a little harsh, Maka? He was trying to be nice to you," Tsubaki said, leaning against a sink as Maka washed her hands. "Black*Star was actually being pretty nice too, come to think of it..." A small blush reddened the tall woman's cheeks.

"Yeah, what's up with that, anyway?" Maka muttered, scrubbing the back of her hands. "It's like...no, that's crazy."

"What?"

Maka sighed and ran her hands under the faucet to wash away the soap suds.

"The only time Soul _ever_ pulled out a chair for me was when we went on our date in high school."

Tsubaki's brow raised. "Oh."

"I dunno...it's just weird, you know?" She shook her head, turning off the faucet and reaching out to grab a paper towel to dry her hands. "And the fact that Black*Star is actually _not_ trying to bring attention to himself every five seconds is also a little out of character, don't you think?"

"Maybe," Tsubaki said, giving her friend a small smile. "It's kinda nice, though. I think we should give them a chance."

"A chance to do what, Tsubaki?" Maka murmured, her hand on the door. "Break our hearts? Thanks, but I've already made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let that happen."

"I think you should apologize to Soul."

Maka paused in the motion of opening the door.

"What?"

"You were quite rude to him, Maka," Tsubaki said seriously. The meister was surprised; the raven-haired weapon was rarely ever this insistent on things. "He was only trying to patch up whatever hurt he caused from the other night. Both of them are. Can't you see that?"

Maka stared at the floor in silence, remembering how Soul touched her hair earlier that evening. She knew he was bad at apologies, but he had tried to show her he was sorry for hurting her feelings in a way that he could.

No, she hadn't seen it. She was so wrapped up in her anger that she wasn't aware of her friends' attempt (as vague as it was) to apologize for _their_ actions the other night.

"You're right," Maka sighed. "Soul and Black*Star may be idiots and insensitive jerks sometimes, but they are _our_ idiots. And they try not to screw around with us too much." Tsubaki smiled warmly at her.

"Ready to go back?"

Maka nodded, and headed out the door.

Once the two got back to their table, Maka noticed Soul was watching her with a carefully constructed neutral expression. She bit her lip as he and Black*Star stood up when the girls got to their respective chairs.

"Soul..." she started, gripping the back of her chair tightly, facing him but only staring at the floor. "I'm...I'm sorry for hitting you. That was out of line. I know I don't have the right to tell you what you can and can't do, and I want you to know that I apologize for my attitude the past few days."

At first she didn't get a reaction from the Deathscythe. Then she heard his chuckle and looked up at him with wide eyes. His red eyes were gazing down at her fondly, and his mouth was turned upwards into his trademark crooked smirk.

"No need to apologize, pigtails. Just let Black*Star and I pay for dinner and we'll call it even."

"What! But—"

"No buts!" Soul said happily as he shoved Maka down into her chair. "This is our treat, so enjoy it."

The rest of the evening went by with good food, a few more flying books (this time directed at Black*Star), and a lot of laughter. Maka felt lighter than she had in a week, like the events of the past two days never happened. It was like the old Shibusen days, when they had little more to worry about than algebra and collecting 99 evil souls.

When they all finished with dessert, they were leaning back in their chairs, bill paid and plates cleared off.

"Well, I think it's time to beat it," Black*Star said, stretching his arms lazily. "You ready, Tsubaki?" The four already agreed that since the girls wanted to share that bottle of wine, the guys would take them home. Maka had a sneaking suspicion that was their plan all along.

"Yeah. This was fun, guys," Tsubaki said, getting up from her seat along with Black*Star. "We should do it again."

"I agree," Soul said. "Maka?"

"What? Um...yeah. Maybe when everyone has the time to join us next time."

"Or maybe just the four of us!" Black*Star said. "That way we don't have to worry about crazy Kidd and everyone else's issues with each other. Well, we'll see you guys later! Have a good night!"

"I wouldn't mind doing this again if you left your books at home," Soul commented when the two left. He was sprawled lazily in his chair, long legs stretching in front of him with his hands behind his head.

"Fat chance," Maka replied, grinning. Soul sighed with mock remorse, but was smiling.

"I thought so."

"Hey, Soul?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"...No problem."

The two sat in comfortable silence as Maka finished off her glass of wine.

"Best two out of three?"

"Hm?" Maka looked up in confusion.

"You know, _dates,_" Soul said casually. "Wanna try to see if we can do the best two out of three?"

"But—wha—this wasn't a date!"

"Okay, so Tsubaki and Black*Star were with us," Soul shrugged. "It was a double-date. I still paid for you and made sure you had a good time, didn't I?"

"This. Wasn't. A. Date."

"I'm just kidding, bookworm," he said, kicking her shin playfully under the table. "Relax. Are you ready to go? I'm tired, and I need some Advil." He rubbed his head and made a face. Maka laughed.

"Yeah, ready when you are."

"I'll go pull the bike up. Meet you out front, okay?"

Maka smiled and let out a sigh of content. She closed her eyes and basked for a moment in her happiness. Soul may have a way with the ladies, but he was still _her _best friend. He still made time for her any day to make sure she was happy. Maybe she could just give him credit for that.

Even if this _wasn't_ a date.

Maka opened her eyes and started to get up to leave when she noticed that Soul had left his wallet on his chair.

_Funny, I didn't see him take it out when he paid. He just had his card in his pocket..._

She bent to pick it up when something fell out. Holding it up to take a look at it, her eyes widened in surprise.

"Hey, Maka, you coming or what?" she heard Soul shout from out front.

"Yeah, be right there!" she called out before looking back at the photo strip in her hand. Her heart felt like it was lodged in her throat. She ripped up her copy years ago, the very same night those pictures were taken in fact.

_And Soul...kept it? _

Maka stood there in shock for another few moments, many strange and wonderful emotions running through her body. Finally she brought herself back to reality. She quickly, but carefully, putt the piece of paper back into Soul's wallet. She'd sneak it back into his jacket when he wasn't looking.

She didn't notice two hidden weapons doing a happy dance behind her as she left.

Soul looked a little taken aback by the warmth in her smile at first, but he immediately relaxed and returned it in full.

"Let's go home, Maka," he said, handing her the helmet and revving the engine. She swung a leg over the seat and took her place behind him on the bike.

"Sounds good to me," she replied before placing the helmet on her head.

Maka wrapped her arms around his waist, savoring the close contact with her best friend and secret crush. Soul couldn't help but feel on top of the world as he felt his childhood sweetheart's warm body against his back.

Neither of them had any idea just how much the other enjoyed that ride back home.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Author's Note: **

LONG CHAPPIE! TWENTY PAGES! BE HAPPY! SO MUCH FLUFF! ((dies)) Don't worry, this series won't be ALL SoMa fluff. Just mostly. Cuz I love SoMa with the passion of a thousand suns.

Coupla notes.

One: The FARC that Black*Star was talking about is a nasty, violent organization in Colombia. I'm sure our favorite loud-mouthed assassin could kick some FARC-ass anytime.

Two: The Thompson sisters are so evil, it's delectable. You can image what they possibly did to get Black*Star into this. I know I can't, I wasn't privy to that information.

Three: I'm not entirely sure how Shibusen works as a continual education circuit, so I used some creative license. If I missed anything that is canon, let me know.

Four: First five people who can catch the awesome movie reference gets a group sketch of Soul Eater characters kissing each of them! **(shameless review ploy yay!)**

Five: Maka cock-block FTW! ^.^

This was rated T for language and...suggestive language. I have a dirty, dirty mouth...cue Orbit commercial. Oh, and I'll give you a little spoiler for next chapter: It will be inspired by_Julius Caesar_.

Oh, and I just found out I have been offered an internship with the United Nations in Rome, Italy. Needless to say I was jumping off of the walls. I'm heading there in January!

**Reviewers:**

Lily – Thank you for being my first reviewer in months! Huzzah! You get magic and happiness!

Flower of Hell – Awesome! I only just started with the whole Soul Eater thing (watched the whole anime in, like, 4 days...), so I want to do the characters justice—Soul just rocks my world.

Gunpowder Cookies – So...you read my mind. How could I NOT make a comparison to Maka and Katherine? I hope you enjoy how it turns out! (cackles evilly)

bluenian98 – Thanks, hope you enjoy the rest of this series.

**Disclaimer:**

Forgot to add this last chapter. XP I do not own Soul Eater, and while Shakespeare is public domain, I will not take credit for the lovely banter created by the master of words.


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